30Kisses: Ritsu x Soubi
by Harpsichord-Fetish
Summary: A series of Ritsu/Soubi oneshots. Various ratings, various genres. Reviews would be much appreciated. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Sympathy

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #01: look over here

**Rating: **Teens (for some language and some mature themes)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Sympathy

"The main thing I want you to remember about your upcoming practice match with Trustless is to incorporate those new vocabulary words that I've given you. Keep the core of the spell simple, use strong key words, and be creative with the imagery. Do _not_ show emotion. Utilize what I've taught you and grit your teeth…don't…Soubi-kun, is this briefing boring you?"

Hearing his name mentioned sternly, Soubi jerked. He quickly took his eyes off the floor and onto Ritsu, in an effort to appear as if he'd been paying attention all along, but the attempt only managed to give him a "deer-in-the-headlights" look.

"I-I'm sorry sensei…" Soubi lowered his head again, all of his thoughts suddenly leaving him. He didn't want to meet his teacher's cold eyes and austere frown. Ritsu let out an annoyed sigh as he addressed his pupil,

"Soubi-kun, this sparring match is extremely important. It's your first chance to show the school administration what I've been teaching you and the extent of your skills. But instead of my pre-battle advice, you've obviously found something much more worthy of your thoughts and time. Would you care to share with me what you were _daydreaming_ about?"

Soubi tried to swallow the nervousness that was forming a hard lump in his throat. He most certainly did _not_ want to tell Ritsu what was occupying his thoughts. Ever since Ritsu had taken his virginity three days ago, his life had been complete hell during class hours at Septimal Moon. The only relief he found from critical stares and derogatory remarks about the nature of his relationship with Ritsu-sensei, was either holed up in his dorm room or in his teacher's office (which, unsurprisingly, only fueled more completely true and untrue rumors). He was ashamed.

"Soubi-kun, _look_ at me!" Ritsu said firmly, his voice cracking through his students' thoughts like a whip once again. Soubi looked at Ritsu apprehensively. He was all too familiar with what that tone in his teacher's voice meant.

"I'm so sorry Ritsu-sensei, I really am, it's just that my mind has been elsewhere lately. I'm really sorry…" Soubi's voice cracked ever so slightly towards the end of his apology. He tried his hardest, but couldn't help but let a few tears come into his eyes. Painful memories of the last few days flooded into his head. Bad comments, tasteless jokes, being called names…it was all so much to handle. And now, to have one of the most important matches of his career as a student coming up tomorrow? He thought he was going to have a panic attack. The thought of having to go through a spell battle in front of all the school administrators _and_ the student body without his ears was…horrifying, to say the very least.

"You'll do fine if you just concentrate."

Soubi looked at his teacher in shock. Not necessarily because of the words Ritsu said but the _way_ he said them. Soubi had never heard his teacher come close to being _gentle_ in his conversations. But just then, there was a small, trace amount of empathetic compassion.

"Sensei…"

"What I mean to say is," Ritsu turned his head away from his student, looking out the window of the office in an almost flustered manner, but resuming his stony, monotone voice. "You need to pull yourself together but, it's understandable that you are nervous with this being such a crucial match."

"Yes, sensei. I understand. I'll try my best to focus." Soubi answered knowingly. He knew that this was his teacher's way of showing that he took at least _some_ notice of what Soubi was going through. It was proof that Ritsu occasionally looked Soubi's way and observed what was happening to the boy outside of sparring matches, lessons, and recently, the pair's sexual encounters.

"Come here, Soubi-kun." Ritsu gave Soubi a somewhat cold look as he issued the curt order.

Soubi quickly scuffled over to his teacher's desk and stood, expectantly, in front of Ritsu. The older man cast a thoughtful glance at Soubi's head, now in obvious lack of the virginal, cat-like, appendages that had become the source of so much teasing directed towards the boy. Ritsu raised his had and began to stroke Soubi's head, ruffling his light blonde hair in an almost patronizing way.

"So these are gone now, huh?" The man said thoughtfully, mostly to himself. Soubi bristled a bit at the remark. He wanted to shout, 'Of _course_ they're gone, you bastard! What the hell did you think would happen?' but was stopped from his near outburst by the gentle touch of his teacher's lips to his cheek. It was nothing fervent, no heated lust, just a single, kindhearted, kiss.

Soubi sighed, his sudden anger placated, and leaned into his teacher's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Cruel

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #02: news; letter

**Rating: **For Everyone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Cruel

A/N: This fic will be written from Soubi's POV.

_It only has to be a few words…_

That's what Ritsu-sensei told me. A few words to Seimei, the Sacrifice that was soon coming to be mine to defend and serve, but I couldn't force my pen to move even after confining myself to my dorm room for a full two hours.

This had to be another one of my teacher's cruel jokes. He _knew_ how I felt about being pawned off to this Sacrifice, this boy who I had never even met.

My teacher knew that I was in love with him. Yet he still wanted me to feign affection for this _Seimei_.

_Dearest Seimei,_

_I humbly await your arrival with fear and apprehension because I am in love with another man, my own teacher, but he refuses to take me on as his Fighter unit. Your coming will mark the end of my life, my love, as I know it now._

_Unwillingly Yours,_

_Soubi_

I threw it out in a crumbled and torn ball of baby blue stationary.

The room was nothing but shadows, except for the desk were I attempted to write the faux love letter, or whatever the hell it was Ritsu-sensei wanted me to conjure.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

I thought about my teacher; his words filling my open ears, his whip on my back, his lips roughly kissing my neck.

_Dearest Seimei,_

_Hurry up and come already so I can be free of this dreadful man._

_Your Love,_

_Soubi_

Even as I thought it, the tears came to my eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Shock

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #03: jolt!

**Rating: **Teens (for slightly disturbing themes)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Shock

A/N: The words in _italics _are from Soubi's POV. The words are him reflecting on, and telling the events of his childhood.

_A clash of glass thrown forward and splinters of light, are brought forth by a scream my mother let loose from her throat. I was jolted from my seat in the back of the car with a degree of rapidness and surprise I still find unnerving. My ears picked up a withering, defeated sob that I couldn't be sure came from myself. I fainted with that sound still in my ears._

A small boy walks in a daze around a hospital. There is no one he knows and he has been crying for, what seems like, hours. He crouches down in a corner, placing himself on cold tiles that are dirty but still manage to smell of disinfectant.

"You must be Agatsuma Soubi." A man with glasses appears out of nowhere, addressing him with an air that demands attention. "You're parents are dead, you know. You'll be living with me now."

_A shocking slap against my small chest, worse than any kind of pain, left me numb and unable to collect my thoughts._

The boy named Soubi wails louder, flinging his fists onto the floor in frustrated, angry, depression.

"I want my mommy, I want to go home! Where are mommy and daddy?!" He repeats this and many other similar cries for awhile until the stern man in glasses is forced to sit down on the floor and talk with the hysterical child.

"Be quiet, you're acting disgracefully." The man said this as he grabbed Soubi's chin roughly. "From now on I'll be taking care of you, and while you're with me you will never act in such a horrible manner. Do you understand?"

_A gulp of desperately needed air sends my mind reeling again in countless directions._

"Y-yes sir." The boy tried to swallow the blubbering sobs, nodding his head vigorously in the man's tightly clenched hand.

"My name is Minami Ritsu. You may address me as Ritsu-sensei, is that clear?"

"Yes Ritsu-sensei." Soubi said it much more clearly this time. For awhile Ritsu just kept his hand on Soubi's chin, looking into the boy's wide blue eyes, as if he were trying to find something in them. Soubi noticed the man's expression change from sternness, to pity, to a slight look of surprise…to something else the boy couldn't place.

"You look just like her…" Ritsu muttered faintly, just barely loud enough for Soubi to catch.

The man leaned in carefully, hovering over Soubi for a moment like a bird of prey, and then gently pressed his lips to the boy's wet cheek. His tongue darted out deliberately, tasting the moisture, licking away the salty liquid in almost shy strokes. Soubi's hands came up to the man's chest as he let out a yelp of surprise. The child tried in confused desperation to push the larger man off of him, but couldn't dislodge Ritsu from suckling on his face.

_Horrifying panic sets in. I need someone, _anyone_, to help me. I need to get out._

Ritsu used both his hands to hold the boy's face up to his. He planted a firm, possessive kiss on the child's lips. A few moments of silence, and Ritsu removes himself from the boy's mouth. The man looks a little bewildered, as if he didn't mean for things to go that far.

"We should be going now…" He says delicately, smoothing Soubi's hair absentmindedly. "I'm sorry…about that."

The child is quiet.

_I scream. The realization that I am left on this earth alone is too much for me to handle. As much as I cried, you would have thought that Ritsu-sensei would've attempted to placate me._

_But he did not._

_My teacher told me nothing but the bare facts. His words…his actions, sent me careening forward into an uncertain and perverse future; a future with him._

_He made that much clear, even when I was a weeping child who had just lost his parents._


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Adjusting to the Dark

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #04: our distance and that person

**Rating: **Teens (for disturbing themes and some language)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Adjusting to the Dark

A/N: This is meant to be a sort of companion fic to "Shock" (the chapter before this one). I really have no idea what the name of Soubi's mom is, so when you see "her" just know that's who is being referred to. Words in italics are Ritsu's thoughts.

Ritsu stepped into his office, turning the overhead light off so just the blue glow of his computer screen perforated the stuffy air of the room.

_Why would they dump this child on me?_

The question was all his mind could focus on, and unfortunately, he could answer it.

_They want me to train him…_

_They want me to raise him to be like…her._

"Those sick bastards…" Ritsu cursed to the empty room as he flopped down in his office chair. He began to massage his temples in slow circles, an attempt to thwart the oncoming headache he felt creeping into his forehead along with thoughts of his old lover.

_How long had it been since I've even _seen _her?_

_And now…_

_To hear that she's dead and has left a child to Septimal Moon?_

Ritsu sighed in frustration as he recalled the panicked screaming of the young boy who was now his student.

_Soubi…_

The child looked so much like her. From the hair, to the eyes, to the strong but delicate frame; the boy was like his mother incarnate. A ghost in the form of a child, come back to mock his failures in love.

Ritsu allowed himself a small, sarcastic smirk as he pushed the bitter feelings down and began to wonder just how much like his mother the boy really was. Images of Soubi's mother in much more intimate terms came to mind. All of them were vague memories of a time when they would lay in bed together, murmuring and laughing quietly while the dawn broke through the windows. There was a time when they made love all night and didn't hate each other.

_But not anymore._

The reality of his situation sunk in like a rock thrown to the center of a deep pool.

_Tangles of legs and arms. _

_Skin against skin. _

_The kind of sweat that only rises to the surface after tasting another person's rushing climax._

_Can any of that even exist without her being in this world?_

A timid knock at the door startled Ritsu and brought his thoughts back from the otherworldly landscape they had been visiting.

"Ritsu-sensei…" Came Soubi's muffled, squeaking voice.

_In time, won't that voice deepen and take on a quality I will not recognize as hers?_

"Sensei, can I please come in? My room is scary…"

"Alright, come in."

Soubi opened the door with a slow creak, peeking in with his wide, frightened, blue eyes. Seeming to be looking for approval to enter, he glanced at Ritsu, who nodded his consent and motioned with a delicate finger, implying that the boy should come and sit on his lap.

"Sensei, it's so dark in here…there's only the computer…" Soubi whined as he climbed up onto Ritsu.

"You'll have to get used to the dark." Without further warning Ritsu grabbed Soubi's hand and guided it towards the wall behind his chair. The teacher wrapped Soubi's small fist around the cord plugging his computer into the wall and gave it a forceful yank, sending the office into complete darkness and cutting off the machine's diminutive hum that had been serving, unnoticed, as white noise.

"Be quiet." The command was issued after a faint whimper came from the small boy on his lap.

"It'll be fine once your eyes adjust. I don't want to hear a bit of complaining. You may have sought me out because you were scared, but you'll have to deal with the consequences of spending the night with me."

Soubi silenced himself, gulped back his tears, and leaned into his teacher's chest, squeezing his eyes shut against the seeming abyss around him. Ritsu, having a pang of pity for the boy, began to stroke his hair in an effort to calm him down and possibly lull him to sleep. After a half-hour went by, Soubi's breathing evened out and sleep overtook his exhausted body.

_So much like her…_

In the darkness, this feeling was only magnified. Ritsu could've sworn it was _her_ hair he was absently caressing and running through his fingers.

_This boy isn't a burden that she left to torture me; he's a link to bring us together._

_Even with the distance so great…_

_Even though she is no longer in this world…_

With his eyes adjusted to the dark, Ritsu breathed in Soubi's smell once more, letting his fingers trail up and down the boy's spine.

_Somewhere…_

_She is in him._


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Penance

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #05: "ano sa…" ("hey you know…")

**Rating: **Teens (for some language and a bit of gory talk)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Penance

A/N: This fic takes place during volume 8 of the manga. Words in italics are Ritsuka's thoughts.

"I-It was terrible…" Nagisa whispered to Soubi trying to keep her voice low in the echoing halls of Septimal Moon, and for the sake of Ritsuka, she did not go into any gory details.

"Heh, yeah Seimei really fucked up Ritsu! He gouged out the bastard's eyes and wrote Ritsuka that message! What a psycho!"

"Youji!" Nagisa shouted, glaring at the rude Sacrifice.

"Well that's what happened! I don't see why we have to be all polite about it…" Youji tossed his head pertinently, rolling his eyes while Natsuo giggled in that cruel manner he had about him.

"Don't talk about my brother like that!" The past few days, filled with stress and confusing revelations, made Ritsuka all too ready to raise his voice.

_What's the matter with those two?! Acting like nothing's wrong…_

"Ritsuka, please…"

All eyes turned to Soubi. His head hung low, hair covering his eyes and a quiver in his voice that was so uncharacteristic, it was frightening. Those were the first words he had uttered since it was heard that Seimei had written the bloody announcement "Ritsuka, I'm back." on the walls of the school.

_Why?! Why is this happening?! Why is Soubi acting this way?!_

"Soubi, pull yourself together, you're upsetting Ritsuka." The teacher heaved a sigh, crossing her arms in annoyance. She, too, had been up all night and her exhaustion was taking its toll on her already short temper.

"Ritsu-san has said that he wants to see you, Soubi…" She had to lower her voice again; well aware of the reactions her words might stir up.

"No." Soubi answered without faltering.

_What?_

"But Soubi…he's your teacher, and he's hurt!" Ritsuka had a bit of a whine in his voice. He was slightly desperate to get away from the cackling Zero boys who were finding this whole conversation absolutely hilarious for some sadistic reason. As if she had been reading Ritsuka's mind, Nagisa threw another glare in Youji and Natsuo's direction, and finally just yelled at them to go to their rooms and not come out until she called for them. They walked off sulking and mumbling that they always missed out on the "fun".

"You should see him, Soubi." Ritsuka took his Fighter's hand, squeezing it, hoping that would take away some of its numb coldness. The boy frowned when he didn't get any response from the man, and tried again.

"I'll go with you, OK?"

Soubi raised his head slowly, and with barely noticeable tears in his eyes, nodded his head in agreement.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ritsuka sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair in the corner of the school's hospital room, while Soubi stood over the barely conscious body of his teacher. The only sound came from Ritsu's harsh breathing. His breathe sounded like it would give out any minute.

_This room is so terrible…_

_It smells like disinfectant._

He had always hated hospitals, but to see a man hideously maimed by the hands of his own brother, the blood soaking through the bandages around Ritsu's eyes, was a little too much for Ritsuka. The boy had gagged and almost thrown up when he first saw the teacher's state.

_Seimei…_

"Sensei…I'm here." Soubi breathed the words out lightly, as if saying them firmly would wound his teacher further. A few minutes went by with Ritsu still not responding, but just when Soubi was about to saying something else to try and rouse him, he spoke.

"Hey…you know," Ritsu rasped out, his voice dull and pained. "I'm so sorry, Soubi."

_He's…sorry?_

Ritsu reached out, and fumbled for Soubi's hand. The sight was unnerving and pathetic until Soubi finally just knelt down and took his teacher's searching hand, which was also bandaged from attempting to fight off Seimei.

"Y-you don't have to apologize for anything." Soubi whispered as he stroked Ritsu's hand nervously.

_So even Soubi gets rattled by some things…_

"Yes…I do." A weak and knowing smile spread across Ritsu's face, like there was some joke that only Soubi and he understood.

"There is so much…I've done you so much wrong…with…Seimei, and…" He slowly took his hand from Soubi's and ran it gently, unsurely through the Fighter's blonde hair, then let it rest on the top of his head.

"For that…I'm so _sorry…_" A small sob bubbled in his throat which he quickly swallowed. His hand fell back to his side and he sighed.

"It's alright." Came Soubi's reply. He stood up, still staring at Ritsu's shattered form, his teacher now asleep from the drugs pumping into him from the IV penetrating his veins. Soubi, like he had just suddenly thought of it, leaned back down and gave the man a soft kiss on the lips.

_Seimei…_

_Just what was between these two?_

Soubi turned towards Ritsuka, who couldn't stop himself from blushing a bit, and gave the boy a bit of a patronizing smile. Ritsuka's small cat ears twitched when he found himself staring at Soubi's earless head.

"Let's go. I think he's going to be alright."

Ritsuka almost said, 'What about his eyes? He looks really bad!' but stopped himself. It was obvious that wasn't what Soubi was talking about.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Pills and Dreams

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #06: the space between dream and reality

**Rating: **Teens (some creepy stuff)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Pills and Dreams

A/N: This fic will be written from Soubi's POV.

Did I ever see him asleep? I wonder that sometimes, still. Even when I was a child, I would wake up in the middle of the night to see him standing in my doorway, staring down at me with dazed eyes that seemed farther away than the moon in my window. Sometimes I'd wake up to him lying in the bed with me, running his hand through my hair. I felt his breath on my neck and maybe his lips. I'd come to in the morning with Ritsu nowhere in sight, wondering if I had imagined his presence, but as far as I knew he never fell asleep.

I knew that he took pills, and maybe his insomnia was what they were for. I remember being in his bedroom, wrapped up in the soft comforter he never got under, and staring at the plethora of colored capsules on his nightstand.

Blue, green, yellow, red, white…

I listed off all the pigments that entered my teacher's thin body and that became the metronome that lulled me into my dreams.

He would throw a few of them into his mouth during meals, completely unashamed or maybe unaware of the other students and teachers giving disgusted, sideways glances. I didn't answer if a student asked me why my teacher took all those "weird pills". How could I? I wasn't even sure myself.

I remember that when he kissed me, there was always a sort of bitter taste that went from his tongue to mine. Was is from the pills or was it because his kisses were almost always forced?

Today I find myself wondering about these things, even as I pace the wooden floors of my apartment at around three in the morning. Ritsuka is asleep, either curled up on the couch after failing to stay up with me while I finished a last-minute painting for a professor, or in my bed, sated and peaceful; a hint of a smile leaks through from his dreams.

Occasionally, I sit myself down on the edge of the bed, and listen to his breathing. I even run my hand through his shaggy brown hair as I wonder if I should see a doctor about my inability to sleep.

Then I remember my teacher.

His pills, his kisses, and his stroking hand.

My dreams come back to me in like a rush of sickness after a bad meal and I feel chills creep up my spine to the base of my neck like Ritsu's hands all those years ago.

I leave Ritsuka sleeping in my bed and run out onto my balcony.

For the rest of the night I watch the moon, smoke cigarettes, and manage to convince myself that I'm nothing like my teacher.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **Questions of Love

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

**Fandom:** Loveless

**Theme:** 30Kisses #07: superstar

**Rating: **Teens (language, implied sexual violence)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Questions of Love

A/N: This fic will be written from Soubi's POV. I made up the pop star "Molly Dreams" for my own purposes. As far as I know she doesn't actually exist, except for in my own deluded head. The lyrics to her song (as awful as they are) also belong to me.

I'm not going to say there weren't good times. Times when my teacher seemed placated and settled behind his computer, uninterested in my comings and goings (these were probably the happiest days I spent at Septimal Moon).

During these rare periods of silence that seemed to mark my teacher's temporary contentment, I would find singular obsessions to amuse myself. Many of these attentions would be directed at a book (which seemed to please Ritsu even more, since reading expanded my vocabulary and encouraged imagination; two qualities that are absolutely necessary for a successful Fighter to hone).

The thing was; he would actually take some amount of notice of me if I had my nose in a book, giving that brisk nod of approval I came to associate with our more positive moments together. They were moments that were almost paternal in their nature. They were almost, what I dare to call, loving.

So through these books, I would strike the delicate balance of getting Ritsu to approve of me but still…leave me alone.

If I did it right…

He wouldn't visit my dorm room late at night and smother me with his…affections.

There was one obsession that I kept from my teacher for fear that it would incite disapproval. It was my teenage passion for the pop idol Molly Dreams. I almost had an unhealthy fascination with the goddess. She had long, wavy, pale pink hair that she decorated with feathers and jewels. Her costumes were elaborate kimonos that mainly featured butterfly patterns in neo colors. She wore yellow contacts that made her eyes look almost feline. And she sang like she was scheduled for an execution at dawn the next morning.

I knew that if my teacher found out about Molly Dreams he would be angry at me for indulging in such frivolous fluff. And he would be right. Her songs were "ear candy" at best, even though she made up for this by looking and singing like an angel, and the lyrics introduced no new words to stimulate or inspire me. If anything, she was just a passing teen fad that I allowed myself to succumb to.

So I watched her performances in secret, late at night, on the small TV I kept in my dorm room, usually pretending to read a book (so I could claim to not be paying attention to what was on the television if Ritsu came in).

But on the particular night my teacher caught me, there was no mistaking my engrossment. I had been staring for thirty minutes at the screen, eagerly watching her concert and enjoying my favorite song of hers; "Love's Dilemma".

_And if you're waiting for a chance to meet me,_

_Know I'm here, standing in the rain._

_Your lips seem mesmerizing._

_Your eyes are reaching out to me._

_But still this dilemma speaks to me:_

_Should I abandon everything?_

_Run to you like the fool I am?_

_Should I give you everything?_

_Ignore the advice of all my friends?_

_Should I offer you my love?_

_And if you happen to find me,_

_Know that I've been here forever._

_Your kindness is a bit perplexing._

_Your voice can't possibly be real._

_But still this dilemma is bugging me:_

She was about to launch into the chorus for a second time when I began to smell cigarette smoke. I turned my head towards the door dejectedly, knowing what I would see. Ritsu was frowning like he did when I knew I would be in for a long night. His body language suggested he had possibly had a few drinks.

"So what's that?"

"Molly Dreams. She's a singer." I knew to give short, direct answers when he was in this kind of mood. He exhaled a large amount of smoke and crossed his arms.

"Seems a little ridiculous, doesn't it?"

"It is, Ritsu-sensei." There was really nothing else I could have said.

"So why do you listen to that shit?"

I blinked in surprise. My teacher rarely swore, and when he did, it was never in such a calm tone of voice. I felt fear begin to creep up my spine and my eyes widened. I could tell I was in dangerous territory. Ritsu stumbled over to my bed and sat down beside me, half falling onto me; he gave a smirk that told me he had definitely been drinking.

"I guess I just like that way she sounds." I heard the quaver in my voice and gulped. He hated to hear any sort of weakness.

I could faintly hear the crowd cheering Molly Dreams as she concluded her act. Out of the corner of my eye, she blew a kiss to her adoring audience as she tried to catch her breath.

That's when he grabbed me and threw me down onto my back, tearing my clothes off as best he could in his inebriated state. He was rougher with me than he usually was that night. After he left I couldn't sleep and just cried until my alarm clock jolted me back into reality.

Another day I would have to pretend nothing was wrong.

I wandered through my classes as if I was barely alive that day. My head ached and I could hardly sit down. After school I trudged back to my room, determined to crawl into bed without giving any of my homework a second thought, but then I noticed a CD sitting on my pillow.

The cover told me that it was Molly Dreams new album "Kissing without Cause". She was as beautiful as ever, smiling a bit forlornly at the camera, her kimono had a strange dream-catcher-like pattern to it. Inside the cover was a note from my teacher.

_A bit of mindless diversion is fine if you counteract it with substance. I want a list of at least ten books you are planning to read on my desk by tomorrow morning._

It wasn't signed.

I flopped down on my head and immediately regretted it as pain shot up my back and stung my bruised hips. Tears came to my eyes and a tight sensation in the throat as I contemplated all the questions that I knew would never be answered; even if I asked my teacher as directly as he always addressed me.


End file.
